The Risk of Not Understanding : Social Indoctrination Trauma [Est. 14m 46s]
Pardon the Interruption for this VERY IMPORTANT announcement.
There’s something hidden in the conversations of Neurodivergents that folks in conflict with them NEED to understand.
Without understanding things:
- Neurodivergents will continue to have more negative self-talk, more shame, and more frustration
- There will continue to be misunderstandings that might result in blowouts
- We, as a society, will continue to traumatize neurdivergents because of band-aid solutions.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT (click to open)
All right. All right people. What is up?
I’m just gonna wait a minute,
make sure that I see everybody that might pop in here.
Um
But this is an impromptu live. It’s not scheduled at all. And
I wanted to make this video for you because I keep seeing the same pattern
and it’s really awkward
this pattern
where people are struggling.
And when I point out why they’re struggling
or when I even ask them if they like it that way
or when I try to engage with them knowing that
I can see something that they cannot make it frustrated
or
it’s a situation where
I have a need,
I express that need as somebody who’s not that vert and
it gets ignored or brushed under the carpet
or somebody projects what they think I need.
And
part of the effects of that
is what you hear me talk about a lot of the time,
right? Like you hear me talk about how we have systems that are or
how we operate. You hear me talk about how
we
ultimately are
in a society that doesn’t
accommodate change
or that doesn’t accommodate the fact that the only constant is change.
We’re told to use things like checklists or told to
um
that we should have known better or
being told what’s really happening despite our experience
and
that’s just not the case.
So I wanted to make this video for two reasons. One is to
clarify
something that I call social indoctrination trauma,
which is what we’re gonna talk about really quick.
It won’t be a long video.
The other is to define what the hell we’re talking about.
So
there seems to be a very big dichotomy in the neuro diverse world.
And I’ve proven that
um I will put a few screenshots under this post,
have another meeting after this live, so I’ll have to do it in the next day or so. But
if you’re interested
in getting these screenshots, screenshots, drop a comment down below.
These are screenshots of post that I put in another narrow divergent groups.
And there were 22 big ones that jump out.
One is a poll.
And I asked this to both groups of people who were narrow divergent and who weren’t
and for the group. Uh The question is the same
is society abusive toward neuro divergence
in the groups where there was just neurodivergent people,
90 plus percent
people said yes or said yes, even if it’s unconscious or even if it’s unintention
in the groups where it was a mix,
way fewer people said yes.
What that tells me is two things. One neurotypical people have no
flu.
Two,
nobody I can swear,
sorry. Uh
and two
those who do have a clue are afraid to speak up
because of this trauma that we continue in the experience.
And so
that’s what I wanna talk about is this huge gap.
The other posts that I put out
were
a lot more direct.
It said the post itself asked just to make sure I’m
not crazy what words or phrases make you feel gas.
And like the person you’re talking to is
at the very least being unconsciously insulted.
These posts blew up.
They said things like you’re so dramatic. Stop being dramatic.
That’s not what happened, that’s not what’s happening.
You have no idea what’s happening. You’re sensitive.
So you’re saying, I’m the bad guy.
These are all things that have been said to neural divergent people
to make them feel have an experience of being ghastly.
Um
Things like this isn’t my first rodeo. I know what I’m doing.
You’re being overdramatic,
you’re overreacting.
I’m sorry, you feel that way,
especially when it’s followed up with and for being the cause of your pain,
every neurodivergent
um
that I’ve spoken with understands that others aren’t,
there’s just something inside of them creates this pain.
Um People that say I’m telling it like it is
after they say something really hurtful or I was just joking
or
things like
I guess you’re in a mood again, I’ll wait till you calm down
or things like I don’t believe you.
I have a list.
Um
That’s one of the things I can drop. Let me know if you guys want me to put it there.
I have a list of over 100 and 40 responses, different words or phrases like that.
Um And one big ones like that.
It’s not what I said or, you know, another big one is,
um I can’t believe you don’t trust him.
You know, I have a list of all of these, not even from me.
Things that other people have said
about ways that they feel bypassed looked over. And ultimately, this is the sort of
communication
that perpetuates this social indoctrination trauma.
So let’s break this down being ghastly, right? I’m just gonna quickly look up
the definition. So I’m not lying to you guys.
Um Because it’s pretty on point
gaslighting the practice of psychologically manipulating
somebody into questioning their own sanity,
memory or powers of reasoning.
Ok. So let’s say you live a life where you’re constantly feeling like
your way of thinking is being questioned
and that’s edified or fortified or strengthened by the fact
that every system that you try to use doesn’t work
and that something must be wrong with you. That’s another one that was mentioned.
Well, you go through life pretty much thinking you’re broken
and then when something happens to trigger that belief, how do you respond?
Certainly not with self compassion
and there’s all kinds of other topics up nowadays
that have a lot of other trauma specifically
around men and how men interact with women.
This isn’t a man and woman thing.
I’m pointing out this is a neurotypical neuro diverse thing.
What does it result in?
If you fundamentally believe that you’re broken,
you fundamentally are constantly questioning your sanity,
then your self worth goes in the drain.
Then your ability to have any hope goes in the drain, Then your shame increases,
your negative self talk goes up and your ability to see
and be aware of possibility beyond yourself is completely gone.
This is why if you talk to somebody who’s neuro diversion,
they often get down on themselves or frustrated or
they often get
um they’re often in the state of hopelessness and that’ll start
a pattern from you and maybe wanting to support them, help them.
Maybe you say, how can I support you? And they say, I don’t know.
The reason they don’t know is because their entire life they have been gassler.
So how can they know?
Right.
This is the problem.
Social indoctrination, trauma. So social indoctrination is part of that.
We’re talking about
social indoctrination is when a society or a
group of people indoctrinate you into a belief
and the result is a trauma.
So
this idea
that we don’t know,
we as neural divergence don’t know how we operate.
We don’t know what we’re trying to say. We’re not organized, we’re not put together
um and we feel constantly gas lit and manipulated,
causes us not even to believe ourselves or believe in ourselves,
which ultimately causes us to feel a huge cost at anything that we try to do.
Now, the social indoctrination part of this is really simple
and I have other videos that get into specifically
the neurology and psychology of the neuro diverse mind,
but suffice it to say that our ability
to process complex or large amounts of information.
Now I’m gonna pause here. Complex
not to you,
right. So what is complex even mean
enough to cause us stress?
I’m not gonna
get into the nitty gritty,
technical details of how I would identify something complex.
But
if you feel stress in the body,
the other person who probably is neurotypical, doesn’t experience that stress.
Well, it’s unnecessary stress.
I’m making it more complicated, making a mountain out of a mole
hill.
We are fundamentally wired differently.
The result of that wiring is that we can
process less information specifically that requires different contexts or
different ways of putting the information together.
The result of that is ultimately that
we have to take things certain things slow and we can take other things fast.
The result of that is that we’re in a constant state of anxiety management
and risk management and being on the edge,
looking for something that might cause internal
harm for ourselves and that’s perpetuated by a
lot of the language that I was just describing to you beyond the systems.
If I talk to somebody who’s not familiar with neurodiversity. And I say,
uh wow, I really need an accommodation.
I forgot to say submit this paperwork on time.
The first response and I’m sure a lot of you can relate to. This is,
oh, you have plenty of time. Why didn’t we do it?
Because
in my world, I needed to gather information from 10 different places
ex format it in a way that would be received well
and make a case for what I’m trying to do with this paperwork
and that in and of itself is a day long or more project. Oh,
but the way that I operate based on the neurology and psychology differences,
again,
there’s other videos for this says I can’t do that for very long without burning out,
being disabled throughout the day.
I’m just trying to deal with how my brain works. This isn’t something
that I’m choosing to do.
It’s not not the paperwork, the the doing things slowly or the taking my time.
This isn’t something I’m choosing to do.
I am quite literally a victim to my nervous system.
So in order to manage that I need to create
sophisticated systems and complex um methods,
convenience ways of doing things that empower me to not have
to switch contexts all of the time that might look like
hyper focusing on something and not wanting to break away because
the pain of switching context is an actual pain in our body
and pain in my body at least, and it causes me to feel stupid,
to be unable to maybe even communicate and to not be able to make good decisions
because it’s something that people who aren’t neurodivergent
aren’t neuro di
Yeah, this isn’t something who,
wow,
this isn’t something
people who aren’t neuro diversion experience or if they do,
they really only experience it in states of intense emotion,
whether it’s sorrow or mourning or anger or rage, whatever.
But because of how our default mode network operates, we experience it all of it.
So how does that translate
into trauma?
Well, because we fundamentally for reasons, I’m not really gonna get into here.
We fundamentally have to do things differently
and because we have to do things differently
in order to manage our overwhelmed level,
our
perspective on the world is different based in risk management,
risk control and anxiety management.
Well, when that happens,
our entire way of operating is different.
So to respond with your overthinking or you’re making a
mountain out of a molehill or you’re over complicating it.
Now, from your perspective, it’s overcomplicated because you have a capacity,
neurotypical person in talking to here that I do not have,
but it just gets exhausting to try to justify and explain this stuff.
And the truth is, the more I try to explain it, the more burnt out I get.
So I have a very short runway where I can make a point,
which also means that there’s a preconceived notion that this person
is already closed off.
Any advice I’m going to give and is already rejecting my way of, of being.
So I just shut up and stick by it and suffer in silence.
How does somebody who suffers in silence
live their life?
Would you tell somebody who’s being beaten and
experiences the physical effects of abuse
that they are
no matter whether you’re neuro
or divergent, would you say that they deserve
what’s coming to them or that they
um
that they should apologize for how they act out of that pain
or
that everybody feels that way.
Probably not
because there’s bruises and you can see that not everybody feels that way.
But
when we are, when we use neuro divergence, when I have constant throughout my life,
tried to explain things to people about how I operate and I’m told that’s not
how it works.
One gets to a point where they’re so exhausted
and so exasperated that they don’t even wanna try.
That is social indoctrination, trauma. That’s the effect of it.
That’s how it gets created. So what can you do about it?
For one? Educate yourself. I have a course.
Put a comment in the,
put, put course in the comments down below.
If you want to see this course, I call the neuro diverse operating system.
It gets into all of the ways that people consistently.
Um Well, it actually gets into all of the ways that the neurology and psychology were
so that people can consistently understand at the very least the operating system,
the prioritization and the way that the mind works
beyond that,
it provides a few resources that are going to continue to be expanded on,
including a decision making tool for neuro divergence
and a survivor’s guide for neurotypical to better understand what’s
going on and have some tools to work with.
This is something that’s been ignored and
ignored and ignored and ignored and ignored.
And for most adult neurotypical people,
this is something that is perpetuated and they feel shame about.
I can’t tell you the number of people that I’ve spoken with
and I even sit in some men’s groups with some autistic people.
I can’t tell you the number of people that I’m,
I’ve spoken with who experience such shame when they make a mistake
because not only are they going to be punished without mistake,
uh
Whether it’s
emotionally or psychologically,
but
they don’t have anybody who gets it.
So that
was the big problem.
That’s why we keep running into this wall of communication challenges. Why we keep
having these conversations over and over again.
And ultimately why if you’re neurodivergent feel the way you live.
So if you have any questions about this, drop a line in the comments,
I’m happy to respond to you.
If you want the course, let me know
and if you want to see these posts, I’ll post them the next day or so
after the, the
next call. Thanks guys. I really hope that this clarified some stuff.
Um And I really hope that if I sent you this link and you what?
And you saw this all the way through this helped,
I will talk to everybody later.
I will talk to you guys in the group.
Peace
I’m just gonna wait a minute,
make sure that I see everybody that might pop in here.
Um
But this is an impromptu live. It’s not scheduled at all. And
I wanted to make this video for you because I keep seeing the same pattern
and it’s really awkward
this pattern
where people are struggling.
And when I point out why they’re struggling
or when I even ask them if they like it that way
or when I try to engage with them knowing that
I can see something that they cannot make it frustrated
or
it’s a situation where
I have a need,
I express that need as somebody who’s not that vert and
it gets ignored or brushed under the carpet
or somebody projects what they think I need.
And
part of the effects of that
is what you hear me talk about a lot of the time,
right? Like you hear me talk about how we have systems that are or
how we operate. You hear me talk about how
we
ultimately are
in a society that doesn’t
accommodate change
or that doesn’t accommodate the fact that the only constant is change.
We’re told to use things like checklists or told to
um
that we should have known better or
being told what’s really happening despite our experience
and
that’s just not the case.
So I wanted to make this video for two reasons. One is to
clarify
something that I call social indoctrination trauma,
which is what we’re gonna talk about really quick.
It won’t be a long video.
The other is to define what the hell we’re talking about.
So
there seems to be a very big dichotomy in the neuro diverse world.
And I’ve proven that
um I will put a few screenshots under this post,
have another meeting after this live, so I’ll have to do it in the next day or so. But
if you’re interested
in getting these screenshots, screenshots, drop a comment down below.
These are screenshots of post that I put in another narrow divergent groups.
And there were 22 big ones that jump out.
One is a poll.
And I asked this to both groups of people who were narrow divergent and who weren’t
and for the group. Uh The question is the same
is society abusive toward neuro divergence
in the groups where there was just neurodivergent people,
90 plus percent
people said yes or said yes, even if it’s unconscious or even if it’s unintention
in the groups where it was a mix,
way fewer people said yes.
What that tells me is two things. One neurotypical people have no
flu.
Two,
nobody I can swear,
sorry. Uh
and two
those who do have a clue are afraid to speak up
because of this trauma that we continue in the experience.
And so
that’s what I wanna talk about is this huge gap.
The other posts that I put out
were
a lot more direct.
It said the post itself asked just to make sure I’m
not crazy what words or phrases make you feel gas.
And like the person you’re talking to is
at the very least being unconsciously insulted.
These posts blew up.
They said things like you’re so dramatic. Stop being dramatic.
That’s not what happened, that’s not what’s happening.
You have no idea what’s happening. You’re sensitive.
So you’re saying, I’m the bad guy.
These are all things that have been said to neural divergent people
to make them feel have an experience of being ghastly.
Um
Things like this isn’t my first rodeo. I know what I’m doing.
You’re being overdramatic,
you’re overreacting.
I’m sorry, you feel that way,
especially when it’s followed up with and for being the cause of your pain,
every neurodivergent
um
that I’ve spoken with understands that others aren’t,
there’s just something inside of them creates this pain.
Um People that say I’m telling it like it is
after they say something really hurtful or I was just joking
or
things like
I guess you’re in a mood again, I’ll wait till you calm down
or things like I don’t believe you.
I have a list.
Um
That’s one of the things I can drop. Let me know if you guys want me to put it there.
I have a list of over 100 and 40 responses, different words or phrases like that.
Um And one big ones like that.
It’s not what I said or, you know, another big one is,
um I can’t believe you don’t trust him.
You know, I have a list of all of these, not even from me.
Things that other people have said
about ways that they feel bypassed looked over. And ultimately, this is the sort of
communication
that perpetuates this social indoctrination trauma.
So let’s break this down being ghastly, right? I’m just gonna quickly look up
the definition. So I’m not lying to you guys.
Um Because it’s pretty on point
gaslighting the practice of psychologically manipulating
somebody into questioning their own sanity,
memory or powers of reasoning.
Ok. So let’s say you live a life where you’re constantly feeling like
your way of thinking is being questioned
and that’s edified or fortified or strengthened by the fact
that every system that you try to use doesn’t work
and that something must be wrong with you. That’s another one that was mentioned.
Well, you go through life pretty much thinking you’re broken
and then when something happens to trigger that belief, how do you respond?
Certainly not with self compassion
and there’s all kinds of other topics up nowadays
that have a lot of other trauma specifically
around men and how men interact with women.
This isn’t a man and woman thing.
I’m pointing out this is a neurotypical neuro diverse thing.
What does it result in?
If you fundamentally believe that you’re broken,
you fundamentally are constantly questioning your sanity,
then your self worth goes in the drain.
Then your ability to have any hope goes in the drain, Then your shame increases,
your negative self talk goes up and your ability to see
and be aware of possibility beyond yourself is completely gone.
This is why if you talk to somebody who’s neuro diversion,
they often get down on themselves or frustrated or
they often get
um they’re often in the state of hopelessness and that’ll start
a pattern from you and maybe wanting to support them, help them.
Maybe you say, how can I support you? And they say, I don’t know.
The reason they don’t know is because their entire life they have been gassler.
So how can they know?
Right.
This is the problem.
Social indoctrination, trauma. So social indoctrination is part of that.
We’re talking about
social indoctrination is when a society or a
group of people indoctrinate you into a belief
and the result is a trauma.
So
this idea
that we don’t know,
we as neural divergence don’t know how we operate.
We don’t know what we’re trying to say. We’re not organized, we’re not put together
um and we feel constantly gas lit and manipulated,
causes us not even to believe ourselves or believe in ourselves,
which ultimately causes us to feel a huge cost at anything that we try to do.
Now, the social indoctrination part of this is really simple
and I have other videos that get into specifically
the neurology and psychology of the neuro diverse mind,
but suffice it to say that our ability
to process complex or large amounts of information.
Now I’m gonna pause here. Complex
not to you,
right. So what is complex even mean
enough to cause us stress?
I’m not gonna
get into the nitty gritty,
technical details of how I would identify something complex.
But
if you feel stress in the body,
the other person who probably is neurotypical, doesn’t experience that stress.
Well, it’s unnecessary stress.
I’m making it more complicated, making a mountain out of a mole
hill.
We are fundamentally wired differently.
The result of that wiring is that we can
process less information specifically that requires different contexts or
different ways of putting the information together.
The result of that is ultimately that
we have to take things certain things slow and we can take other things fast.
The result of that is that we’re in a constant state of anxiety management
and risk management and being on the edge,
looking for something that might cause internal
harm for ourselves and that’s perpetuated by a
lot of the language that I was just describing to you beyond the systems.
If I talk to somebody who’s not familiar with neurodiversity. And I say,
uh wow, I really need an accommodation.
I forgot to say submit this paperwork on time.
The first response and I’m sure a lot of you can relate to. This is,
oh, you have plenty of time. Why didn’t we do it?
Because
in my world, I needed to gather information from 10 different places
ex format it in a way that would be received well
and make a case for what I’m trying to do with this paperwork
and that in and of itself is a day long or more project. Oh,
but the way that I operate based on the neurology and psychology differences,
again,
there’s other videos for this says I can’t do that for very long without burning out,
being disabled throughout the day.
I’m just trying to deal with how my brain works. This isn’t something
that I’m choosing to do.
It’s not not the paperwork, the the doing things slowly or the taking my time.
This isn’t something I’m choosing to do.
I am quite literally a victim to my nervous system.
So in order to manage that I need to create
sophisticated systems and complex um methods,
convenience ways of doing things that empower me to not have
to switch contexts all of the time that might look like
hyper focusing on something and not wanting to break away because
the pain of switching context is an actual pain in our body
and pain in my body at least, and it causes me to feel stupid,
to be unable to maybe even communicate and to not be able to make good decisions
because it’s something that people who aren’t neurodivergent
aren’t neuro di
Yeah, this isn’t something who,
wow,
this isn’t something
people who aren’t neuro diversion experience or if they do,
they really only experience it in states of intense emotion,
whether it’s sorrow or mourning or anger or rage, whatever.
But because of how our default mode network operates, we experience it all of it.
So how does that translate
into trauma?
Well, because we fundamentally for reasons, I’m not really gonna get into here.
We fundamentally have to do things differently
and because we have to do things differently
in order to manage our overwhelmed level,
our
perspective on the world is different based in risk management,
risk control and anxiety management.
Well, when that happens,
our entire way of operating is different.
So to respond with your overthinking or you’re making a
mountain out of a molehill or you’re over complicating it.
Now, from your perspective, it’s overcomplicated because you have a capacity,
neurotypical person in talking to here that I do not have,
but it just gets exhausting to try to justify and explain this stuff.
And the truth is, the more I try to explain it, the more burnt out I get.
So I have a very short runway where I can make a point,
which also means that there’s a preconceived notion that this person
is already closed off.
Any advice I’m going to give and is already rejecting my way of, of being.
So I just shut up and stick by it and suffer in silence.
How does somebody who suffers in silence
live their life?
Would you tell somebody who’s being beaten and
experiences the physical effects of abuse
that they are
no matter whether you’re neuro
or divergent, would you say that they deserve
what’s coming to them or that they
um
that they should apologize for how they act out of that pain
or
that everybody feels that way.
Probably not
because there’s bruises and you can see that not everybody feels that way.
But
when we are, when we use neuro divergence, when I have constant throughout my life,
tried to explain things to people about how I operate and I’m told that’s not
how it works.
One gets to a point where they’re so exhausted
and so exasperated that they don’t even wanna try.
That is social indoctrination, trauma. That’s the effect of it.
That’s how it gets created. So what can you do about it?
For one? Educate yourself. I have a course.
Put a comment in the,
put, put course in the comments down below.
If you want to see this course, I call the neuro diverse operating system.
It gets into all of the ways that people consistently.
Um Well, it actually gets into all of the ways that the neurology and psychology were
so that people can consistently understand at the very least the operating system,
the prioritization and the way that the mind works
beyond that,
it provides a few resources that are going to continue to be expanded on,
including a decision making tool for neuro divergence
and a survivor’s guide for neurotypical to better understand what’s
going on and have some tools to work with.
This is something that’s been ignored and
ignored and ignored and ignored and ignored.
And for most adult neurotypical people,
this is something that is perpetuated and they feel shame about.
I can’t tell you the number of people that I’ve spoken with
and I even sit in some men’s groups with some autistic people.
I can’t tell you the number of people that I’m,
I’ve spoken with who experience such shame when they make a mistake
because not only are they going to be punished without mistake,
uh
Whether it’s
emotionally or psychologically,
but
they don’t have anybody who gets it.
So that
was the big problem.
That’s why we keep running into this wall of communication challenges. Why we keep
having these conversations over and over again.
And ultimately why if you’re neurodivergent feel the way you live.
So if you have any questions about this, drop a line in the comments,
I’m happy to respond to you.
If you want the course, let me know
and if you want to see these posts, I’ll post them the next day or so
after the, the
next call. Thanks guys. I really hope that this clarified some stuff.
Um And I really hope that if I sent you this link and you what?
And you saw this all the way through this helped,
I will talk to everybody later.
I will talk to you guys in the group.
Peace
